Category: Gospel-centered discipleship

Facing My Identity Issues

I sat in my office sulking. My day had been so demanding. My week tiresome. My month an all out marathon, minus the fans.

Pastoring eternal souls, preaching week after week, leading leaders, and living an outwardly focused life is demanding enough, but occasionally the demands pile higher. As a pastor, I am a sinner that counsels sinners. This means that, despite our common hope in the gospel, there are times that I fail to apply my own counsel to my own soul. It means that I’m not enough for any disciple much less a whole church.

The past couple of weeks had been one of those “pile up” weeks. More counseling, more speaking, more demands. Add to the stack a particular situation that was, shall we say, extreme? The inbox had hate mail and church slander waiting for me. In tandem, I had to watch self-destructive behavior dismantle a person, whom I had poured a lot of life into.

Exhausted, I thought: “No one understands what it’s like to be a pastor.” “I deserve better treatment than this, after all I’ve done. Why can’t I have better circumstances.” I was emotionally drained.

In hope, I turned to Chuck Palahniuk for help, author of Choke, Snuff, and Fight Club.

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