Taken from Matt Schmucker of 9 Marks, here are 10 things we may be doing that polarize our kids. Alternatively, here are some other lists that can aid in encouraging and loving your kids well. Feel free to add your own wisdom in the comments.
- Make it a habit to discipline your child while angry.
- Make it a point to scold your child – especially in public. Mockery and ridicule work well.
- Deliberately embarrass your child in front of his/her friends. Name calling really gets their attention.
- Create double standards so that the child never knows who or what to follow.
- Preach and hold the child to a gospel of self-discipline instead of a gospel of grace. (Note: the Bible presents Pharisees as very unhappy people.)
- Never admit you’re wrong and never ask your children for forgiveness.
- Inspect your child until you find something wrong. Holding them to an unreachable standard makes this task easier.
- Judge a fight between your children before you’ve listened to them.
- Compare your child to others.
- Promise your children things early in the day and then don’t fulfill the promise.
Parents should provoke their children…in good ways: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on [provoke!] toward love and good deeds” (Heb. 10:24).